Collectibles--Don't Get Ripped Off

What is it about the current passion for "collectibles?" We see the advertisements virtually everywhere we look: online; in magazines and newspapers; even in our mailbox; and sometimes via our local Avon™ Lady.

The photography is stunningly spectacular, showing a beautiful "whatsits" done in lovely hand-painted brilliant colors or crafted from the purest gold. There is usually an "iron-clad" money-back guarantee if you are not satisfied. Very tempting to add such charming decor to your home or adornments to your jewelry box.

Uh-huh! Not so fast. The first thing you will notice, if you read far enough down the slick advertisement, is a statement in ultra-fine print telling you that the piece is not shown actual size. Nope. It's been enlarged several times, supposedly to "show detail." More likely, to fool you into thinking that you're getting a sizable piece for your investment. Prices range from a low of the ever-present "only $19.95," up to over $100, (payable in 4 easy installments, of course)!

The next "guarantee" they are likely to add is of the future resale value of this "fine art piece." They will claim that it will be worth at a minimum, the exact price you paid, so you are not going to lose money, but will likely turn a profit. That is blatantly false. The state of the current economy should prove that much. Ordinary people, to whom most of those ads are targeted, are not buying these kinds of tchotchkes right now, and no company or individual can accurately predict what someone in the future will be willing to pay.

That is the ultimate test of value--nothing is worth more than someone is willing to pay. Period.

While these wild claims and slick glossy fliers may not be perpetrating outright scams, they are not completely on the level, either, for various reasons already discussed.

However, many folks do "invest" in these items in the hope of turning a profit. There is only so much wall space and so many shelves and curio cabinets that can be fitted into an ordinary home. Many of these lovely items will therefore be opened with great excitement when they arrive, then put back into their packing box to languish for years on a closet shelf.

The initial reaction with most of the artwork/sculpture type items is going to be disappointment in the size of the piece. Even if you read the disclaimer in the flyer, the reality can be shocking.

Next, you may find that the "fine hand-painted" work is rather sloppily done, with gaps or color bleed into adjacent areas. Chances are, the items were produced in China by child labor. Sadly, this is true of so many of the goods we find these days, not just collectibles.

Mind you, I'm writing this from a standpoint of being guilty of falling for some of these, so I'm not preaching, just sharing what I've learned the hard way. In one case, what appeared in the photo to be a lovely 3-dimensional sculpture turned out to be a decal! I was not particularly amused, but (and they are counting on this!) the hassle of trying to return the item was more than I cared to deal with at that time, so I kept it. Even with the misleading advertisement, I did like the picture, so what the hey!

**Note--due to copyright restrictions, I am unable to post any reproductions of these fliers as examples.

"Okay," you're asking, "What's the difference, anyway?" Well, plenty. Or not. First of all, the very definition of what constitutes an antique is open for interpretation, depending upon whom you ask.

Even the dictionary gives a rather vague assortment of possibilities, ranging from the most vague, "of or belonging to the past," to the definition for a car to be considered antique as being produced 25 or more years prior to the current purchase date; to the U.S. Customs ruling stating that an item must be 100 or more years old, and ending with the idea that an antique is classified as something belonging to the ancient Greek or Roman eras. Wow! What to believe?

Adding to the confusion is the newer term being applied: "vintage." Usually this means anything over 20 years old, or from about the 1940's or 50's to the 1970's era. Hmm.. However, according to the dictionary, the term rightfully belongs only to wine-making.

Collectibles is an even more nebulous term. It dates back as far at the mid 1600's, and means only anything that may be collected, or appealing to people as souvenirs or relics. There you go: a very useful definition, indeed! That covers just about everything on Earth!

Antique Collectibles are, well, you guessed it--a blend of any and all of the above definitions as it suits the individual doing the collecting.

Now that the definitions are as clear as a pot of thick porridge, let's move on.

Humanity seems to have a gene coded for acquisition of material things. There are very few true ascetics who shun worldly goods, and those who do are usually motivated by spiritual ideals. That does not describe the majority of people.

There are, of course, the "filthy rich" who have collections of outrageously expensive items such as jewelry, art or cars. But for the rest of us, having a collection of smaller things is the pauper's way of having a piece of that pie in the sky. It is our treasure hoard, for which our children will no doubt curse us when we have passed, and they have to deal with all of our "junk," an inheritance they won't appreciate. (Call it the ultimate parental revenge, if you like.)

Collecting can become a passion, or an obsession; the dividing line is thin. One collection can become two, then four, then fifteen. This is where it becomes obsessive, and instead of your prized possessions being nice decorations, they become closet-fillers.

Don't go broke buying all the highly promoted "collectibles," because anything mass-produced and intended for the collectibles market is in the end, a cheat. Why? The very concept of "collectible" in the sense of becoming valuable, involves rarity. The fewer of something there are, the more valuable it becomes. While these mass-produced items may be touted as being "limited runs," after which they claim to destroy the molds, there are still many thousands made. That in itself pretty much eliminates the possibility of making any kind of real profit from re-sale of the items.

Case in point: many, many years ago, the (U.S.) Post Office had a run of stamps with a picture of an airplane. Somehow, the printing plate got reversed, and the plane was upside-down. A collector spotted this, and rushed back to buy up as many sheets as he could. However, for reasons unknown, the Post Office decided that having an error become valuable to collectors was a bad idea, so they deliberately ran thousands more of the mistake stamp, effectively destroying its value to collectors.

The decision to collect anything at all is purely personal. People collect most anything that has ever been made, whether by human hands or by Mother Nature.

There are collections of furniture; bugs; newspapers; rocks; matchbook covers; seashells; civil war relics; old linens; hub caps; clothing; toy cars; spoons; postcards; religious items; stamps; fishing lures, coins; clocks and so many more. The list is endless.

So, in short, people collect what appeals to them. If we decide to collect anything at all, then, that collection should be based upon things we like and enjoy having around us. It should be composed of items that "speak" to us in some way, whether of family history or the peaceful surroundings of nature.

Finally, though the best way to collect anything is only because you truly like the items you have chosen. Never buy and collect anything only with an eye to making a profit at some later date, as that may never happen. The "Beanie Baby™" fiasco of recent history is a perfect example. Many people who thought the values would skyrocket are now stuck with massive collections of these stuffed pets, worth no more than their original price, and often much less.

Surround yourself with things you love; of things you enjoy, whether they are to simply look at or whether they involve wearing or playing with.

In this way, you will save your bank account and free up closet space for things you really need it for--like that darned exercise gizmo that is collecting dust in the family room